A Pandemic Called Colorism

Sharon. J. Vanathi shares from the heart on the issues surrounding skin shaming particularly with regards to colorism that she has braved since she was a child. She also shares some take-aways and a means to change this situation.

Before the pandemic called Covid there was a pandemic called Colorism

“Add some saffron to that hot milk. If you drink this, the baby will become fair and beautiful.”

“Don’t have too much eggplant, it may darken your baby.” Are all comments most of us as have heard before. Will this ever change in our country?

Racial discrimination starts in the Indian family even before a child is born. My 8-year-old daughter Ada asked me a week ago “Mummy, when someone calls to inform about the birth of a baby why do people immediately ask “Is she dark or fair? Did people ask the same about me too?” At her birth people definitely did ask those very same questions but I simply replied “Don’t worry about those people and their questions, their opinions don’t matter.” But the reality is that no matter how much we try to shield our children, the color bias in our country will affect them sooner or later.

Her questions made me reflect on my own childhood, which was nothing but subtle bullying. Church and neighborhood aunties had always treated me like an outcast because I looked very different from my family, especially since they constantly compared me to my sister who was light skinned. Comments like “Are you really her sister?” and “Can’t believe you and your sister are really from the same family!” followed me through out my childhood.

At the heels of these comments came numerous rejections. I was rejected as Mary or the Angel in the nativity play at church because I was told that these were characters played by those who were “fair and beautiful.” I was asked not to wear certain colors because they didn’t suit me. The feeling of rejection became so intense that depression took over and I wanted to escape from every social situation. The result of this was a total lack of confidence. I fell for unwanted attention, and I wished cruel things on myself. I shut myself off and started to live in a world of my own just to escape reality. Thankfully my sister was my rock and support during this time, she was the one person who encouraged me to appreciate the way I was created. But these comments hurt me deeply.

Slowly I understood that I was not alone in this racism which demonstrates itself as colorism in our country.

They say “I’m no racist” but they love their fair child more.

They say” I’m no racist” but they want a fair daughter in law

They say “I’m no racist” but they desire for a fair grandchild

They say “I’m no racist” but they call the fair one beautiful and ignore the dark one

They say “I’m no racist” but they cease to live it.

Although I cannot point to any one instance that changed my perspective, I slowly started to find my true identity and confidence. I slowly started to understand that I was the ‘Handiwork of God” (Ephesians 2:10) and that He had created me for more than mere looks – I was created for good works and to make a change.

Although true change can happen only when the society around us also really changes, change can still start by our influence on those around us.

Change can start when our moms and mothers-in-law start looking at their daughters and sons with monochromatic eyes. Change can begin when the neighborhood aunty stops telling us to eat the so-called color enriching foods. Change can start when the first enquiry we make about a new born is about their health, and not their ear color. Like my daughter Ada pointed out change begins with each individual. When we influence the thoughts of those around us, perhaps, they will start to consider others on credentials that surpass skin color. Like ripples in the water this sphere of influence grows. It pans into your family, your workplace and then eventually the society at large.

So, to the question “Can change happen?” the answer is a resounding “yes. “

Change can happen, and that change begins with each one of us.