Toxic Love
3 things to learn from toxic relationships
I woke up on the 14th of November to news of the gruesome murder of Shraddha Walker. A resident of Delhi, she had been hacked to death by her live-in partner Aftab. He had stored her body in 35 pieces in a newly bought 300 L fridge, and every night at around 2 A.M he would dispose of parts of her body in a nearby forest area over a period of a few months. The saddest thing about this incident to me was that she had not been missed for over 6 months. She was originally from Mumbai, and after the loss of her mother in 2020, she had moved in with Aftab who she had started dating while they worked together at a call centre. Finally, her father reported her missing which is when the police questioned Aftab who revealed the gruesome details.
At the heels of this incident another incident was reported in Jabalpur, MP. Where yet another young man (aged 25 years) posted a video of his lifeless girlfriend’s body all the while warning others not to be unfaithful.
And then yet another grisly murder was reported in the nation’s capital again where a 30-year -old man killed his 22-year-old girlfriend out of sheer suspicion.
The news and the media have broadcast more than enough intimate details about these horrific incidents. They have dissected these crimes piece by piece (even more than Aftab’s dissection of his victim). But I hope that this article will help us look closer at the events leading up to these terrible crimes and what we can learn from them in the face of life and relationships.
Going the Extra-mile
In the Aftab and Shraddha case, it was reported by many of her friends that she wanted to end the abusive relationships on multiple occasions. However, for some reason she never did. Maybe her lack of family connections had prevented her from leaving the safety net of her live-in relationship. Whatever the reason, it is important that when we see people in toxic relationships (friends or family), that we intentionally reach out to them in love. We must uphold them in prayer and help them take the next step with confidence. Jesus talks about “going the extra mile.” This extra-mile might mean lending a listening ear, going to the authorities on their behalf, bringing in a counsellor, praying for them or stepping in yourself. Whatever it means to you or to someone else – just do it!
Reel life is not Real life
Aftab’s IG handle is so impressive. He seems to be a very talented food blogger and photographer. Their pictures look cute together, and it is said that they had recently taken a vacation to Himachal Pradesh together. All in all, they seem to have projected a perfect reel life, but real life couldn’t be any more different. Sometimes we convince ourselves that the reality of our life is the reality of the pictures in our phone gallery or the tiling of our social media handle. But we need to come to terms with the fact that life is not always ‘roses and rainbows.’ It is important that in this often-superficial age, we touch base with ourselves and ask ourselves, “Am I really happy?” If your answer is no, then there is good news for you, Jesus offers us joy, the kind that is beyond circumstances. If you are in a toxic relationship reach out to a church or a Christian friend who can introduce you to Jesus. You can also reach out to us and we will guide you with resources on this path towards happiness.
Watch what you Watch
One of the startling statements made by Aftab was that he was influenced by the TV show Dexter, a crime scene drama about a man who leads a double life. In the morning, he fights crimes, and, in the evening, he commits them. He then disposes of the bodies in much the same way as what was done to Shraddha. The Bible says that the eyes are the “windows to the soul, if your eyes are good then the whole body is good.” What we watch can influence us, so let us be careful to watch what we watch.
If you are dealing with a relationship that you feel is toxic and you need help, do reach out to us.
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