Is Abuse Preventable

The alleged sexual harassment and subsequent suicide of a 17-year-old Coimbatore school girl has sent shock waves across the country. Social media was flooded with tweets and protests against this incident by politicians and cine actors alike. As a student myself what shocks me most is that minors experiencing sexual assault is becoming more common in recent times. So, who is to blame? And who should be held responsible for all these assaults? It is very easy to blame the rapist, the victim, the government, or society. But how long are we going to blame others and see nothing change around us?

Some say that if punishments are made more severe, then we can prevent these types of wrongs from happening in our society. But though we try, we don’t see a vast difference. In fact, as I had stated earlier the number of crimes against minors and women seem to be increasing daily. So, the question remains, how do we deal with it? I believe that the change we expect to see in society starts from within. Society begins with each individual. We always seek a better society forgetting that we play a huge role in it. The external factors may or may not change but the way we face them and overcome it can be dealt with.

While each individual person is important to society, the core of that society is formed by the family unit. I recently attended an awareness program where children were encouraged to open up about their issues to their parents, but often I find that many struggle to do this because of their fear of judgment – especially from their parents. Parents, I find often condemn their children because they are concerned for them, however, this may not be the right way to deal with things.

In the Bible, there is a certain incident that is recorded about Tamar who was the daughter of David. She was abused by her brother but then when she opened up about the abuse, she did not feel validated. Instead, she was silenced. In this modern age where many struggles with mental health issues parents are often unaware of the emotional state of their children. I see so many of my female friends living in hesitation to open up about deep secrets, for fear that their education would be stopped due to the issues they are struggling with. Far too often the blame is placed on the victim and instead of validating their feelings and seeking help for the abuse, parents often isolate their daughters. Many feel that arranged marriage will solve issues and so they get their daughters married too soon because of small issues which can be solved with transparent communication. In our Indian society where family ties are strong, we need to have strong and transparent conversations which can prevent unnecessary situations. Perhaps if we give people the room to express themselves then maybe the shame and guilt that leads to suicide and self-harm will decrease.

Let’s start promoting awareness on transparent relationships between parents and children so that we can establish a better society, which aims to stop problems progressing to the next stage.

If you have any other thoughts on how to prevent these types of situations, comment here below.